Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Skorts, please, come back

It's winter now, if you didn't know. I know it's hard to tell these days. What with the midnight thunderstorms in January and what not. But I assure you, it is technically winter. When it comes to skirts in the winter I wear them with tights. It's the practical solution, even if those tights are bright yellow or orange or purple and make my legs look like muppet legs.

When it isn't winter though, it's too hot. And when it's too hot I don't wear shorts. Not denim, khaki, board, bermuda, gym. I won't wear them. They make my legs feel funny. What I will wear though is skirts. Lots of skirts. But that puts a real damper on my activities. What if there's a spontaneous game of tag or floor is lava? Or what if there's a spontaneous picnic at which a short skirt would make sitting on the ground difficult and unladylike?! My answer is always spandex shorts. I have four pair. Two blacks, one gray and one white. Three of them have lacy edges. It's like being Stephanie Tanner every day! Bright colored skirts and white spandex shorts? Who wouldn't feel like Stephanie Tanner?!
But Stephanie Tanner makes me think of one wonderful thing, and I can hear it echoing through your head and heart. I hear you longing for them too. Skorts! SKORTS. Half shorts. Half skirts. All awesome. Some times they were just a pair of shorts with a panel in the front to make it look like a skirt from the front. Some times they were really just over-sized shorts that looked like a skirt if you stood with your legs together. (like a woman's legs should always be). Some times they were a skirt with the shorts built right in, and that is exactly the style I want back.

Think of all of the things I could do, while still looking like Stephanie Tanner. I don't feel like it's an outrageous desire. Juvenile? Maybe. But not outrageous. It's everything you want too, you're just ashamed to admit that even in elementary school you'd always rather you'd been wearing a skort than some silly skirt or shorts. Fancy and functional. That's everything I want in life.


  1. Made me laugh out loud several times, yah muppet legs. Always love talking clothing with you costumes, I mean.