Tuesday, January 10, 2012

...and the booze makes three

I'm healed. I'm putting off so many things, like grad school applications, like glancing over Aesop's Fables for potential puppet show scripts, like cleaning my kitchen, like putting up clothes, but I don't care right now! All I care about is telling you this story that I remembered midday and it made me laugh and laugh. This story is quite telling, so - I hope you're ready!

I work hardware trade shows 2x a year for Do It Best. I do. I'm good at it. Mostly, I sell locks, but what I really do is sell my conversation. I'm a tiny blonde in a booth selling WordLocks in a convention center filled with busy people. Slowing down, talking to a chatty little Midwestern girl is what lots of people like to do. And by people, I meant to say .. Hardware Store owners. It's not weird. It's awesome. Then I walk myself through downtown Indy and stay in a free hotel where I run and watch emotional porn and take baths and paint my nails and prepare for the next day - where I will talk to people and sell locks. Honestly, it suits me.

Sometimes the husband will visit while I'm down there because, hey, even extroverts get lonely after a long day talking to people...This last market, October 2011, husband and I decided we wanted to blow the money I was making. We went out drinking. Shots shots shots and shots. Except, we had a tequila shot served with sangrita (look it up, it'll blow your mind (best shot experience I've ever had)). Anyway, here's the good part - we decided to go to Circle Center Mall. Drunk.
You actually might think this was a bad idea - you might be totally wrong. The things that bother me about the mall just didn't matter. Every thing was great and funny and so attractive and "of course this will look good on me". Can I just tell you we spent SO MUCH MONEY THAT night. On booze, on oversized T-shirts, floppy mustard hats and other items we ended up returning... but the best part, most amazing part? The husband went into the girl's bathroom on accident. Laughter was uncontrollable. And now, as I reread that, it doesn't seem as hilarious as it was.

A series of unintentional decisions led us to the mall where WE were the annoying ones. How funny life can be. I don't regret it. I never will. That trip gave me the balls to buy my most favorite shirt -- an oversized purpley guy - if you've seen me since October, chances are you've seen this shirt.

I went to the mall tonight and bought the pictured items. I had an okay time, but boy, I do wish I would've gone drunk.


(addendum: Basically, we were technically buzzed, but I've heard "buzzed shopping is drunk shopping"... so, there's that. Also, I only recommend buzzed shopping for people of age - of course. What am I, irresponsible and dangerous?! well, depends on who you ask, but as a rule NO!)


  1. I like that one of your contributions is our namesake. Keep up the intoxication

  2. Look at Andy Dan holding that necklace!