Thursday, February 16, 2012

John Wayne Gacy Jr.: Sick...fascinating

I'm relatively awful at making friends. As evidenced by my last eight months in Indianapolis where I've made exactly no friends. Outside of the obvious issue of me never really leaving my apartment. I have this problem when I do meet people.

Guys, I love serial killers. See?! That's the problem. I don't love them. Well, no. I do. In a "as a human I should love all people" sort of way. But I do like them. See?! No. I don't like them. I think they're fascinating. The mental state of serial killers enthralls me. The psychopaths. The sociopaths. Call them what you will. The complete lack of empathy. Not just a lack, but a near lack of understanding of empathy.

It consumes my brain. I spend hours on wikipedia reading about them. Stumbling about sociopaths. That's not okay! It doesn't mean I'm a serial killer. I think it means the opposite.
I read about them and want to know so much because I can't wrap my head around the idea. It's sick, and yet I can't stop reading about them. I know more about psychopaths than most people I know.

Which is weird, sure, but I think it's only bad when I drop facts about specific ones into conversations. The people who know me mind less, because it's just like talking about sports or movies. No. It's not like that at all. It's weird. It's gross. But I can't stop reading about them. So to anyone who has ever met me, I apologize. You probably know more about John Wayne Gacy Jr. or the Bloody Benders or Dean Corll than you ever wanted to know. I can't apologize enough, but also did you know...

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