Mom, is this the bible?

When you're in my line of work, you can hear some funny stuff - and, to be fair, you get to *say* some funny stuff. For example, the other day I overheard this gem: Kid: "Mom, is this the bible?" Mom: "No, that's a goosebumps book."!!

Today, this little girl came flying in through the department, ecstatic to be at the library (which is awesome). She couldn't really put into words how happy she was so she exclaimed: "I'm going to take off my shoes AND my socks." Quietly behind her, her mother said, "No, you aren't."

Also, during storytime today, we did a little change up to "If you're happy and you know it". I had approximately 90 kids screaming, "If you're a monster and you know it, give a ROAR::: ROOOOAAAAAR" and so on and so forth.

Are you jealous yet? Because most of the time, my days are spent finding World Record books, Dinosaur facts, talking with kids about killing zombies, and being a damn rock star at storytime. Can I tell you that I made so many kids "ew" and "ah" with delight because of a pop-up book? It's an incredible thing to hear so many toddlers absolutely lose their shit because of a book. A BOOK. Take that, iPad. (No offense, iPad. I want one of you)

Lastly, look at this poster of Justin Bieber. A kid did this. Straight up put lip stick on his pouty mouth and heavily doused his eyes with marker eye liner. I mean, don't be mad at me that I get to live this life. It's fun to be the cool librarian. It's fun to hear a kid say to his mom (about me), "she helped me find all these books" - if I do nothing else in my life, I know that my stint as a librarian is meaningful and important and down right awesomely hilarious.




sappy enough for ya?

Pho tai, nam and being good at things

There are things I do really well. Seriously. If you know me, this is something I bet you doubt, but it's true. For example, I'm pretty damn savvy in most social situations. There are, of course, some scenarios that send me over the edge, but mostly.. mostly, I'm prepared for many awkward interactions.

Also, I'm kick ass at my job. I am. Right now, I'm planning a puppet show, Mail Art programs for home schoolers, a poetry workshop in April and bringing in real life comic book artists in May. Kids love me. Kids love my robot earrings and red shoes and the high fives I dish out on a regular basis and my story times and how they know I will stand up for them when bullies are dick heads and grown-ups are mean. Kids know this about me, they remember the people they like and like you back. They remember when a grown-up doesn't take herself too seriously. They remember when you take time to listen. Kids, honestly, are the best things ever. They know I think that and they reward me with devotion reserved for cool ass librarians.

I, also, must be really good at bragging.

Anyway, among other things (and the aforementioned items), I'm also really, really good at eating. No lie. I'm good at ordering foods I like and eating the shit out of them. Pho, pizza, coney dogs, chili and soups, sandwiches, sides, appetizers, desserts and everything of the sort. If it's food, I'll eat it. I'll eat it in a way in which one would think it was my job to consume food - sometimes gracefully, with manners, sometimes lacking both elegance and table side charm. I mean, it all depends on the food. I eat pizza with my hands, pho with chopsticks, sloppy joes with getting the sloppy on my face, ice cream in little bites.. honestly, I've gotten it down.

Take me out to eat and you'll see. You won't regret it. In addition to seeing a professional eat food, you'll also get to hang out with me. And I really like making friends.