An Indy Rant (indie rant coming soon)

I've been driving for about 9 years. I'm a very good driver. That's not just by my standards. My insurance company lowers my insurance all the time. Because I'm great! I've been in two accidents. Neither remotely my fault. I've been living in Indianapolis since June. Since then I've been involved in nearly 30 separate collisions. On top of having my car spit at about 3 times a week as I drive home. By pedestrians. Pedestrians on the sidewalk. Pedestrians I am in no way near to striking, but that's not the point. The collisions are the point.
I don't think Indianapolis has traffic laws. The only time I ever see anyone stopped by a police officer the driver is also in hand-cuffs. So that doesn't seem like a moving violation.
One day I was driving home from work. I'm coming down a one-way street to an intersection where my street merges to make another street become a two-way street. So my eastbound traffic comes against westbound traffic. At the intersection though eastbound traffic continues onto a one-way street. Are you following me? At the intersection there is two-way traffic to my right and one-way traffic to my left. I turn right. As I'm turning someone from my left misses my car by less than a foot because I'm a good defensive driver and I stopped in time! I honked with my newly repaired horn. The cop behind me honked at me for not going through the intersection, completely disregarding the car driving the WRONG DIRECTION on a ONE-WAY STREET!
There's a curve near my apartment. The speed limit is 35. And it's right at the Monon Trail. I always slow down because my biggest fear in life is hitting a pedestrian with my car, because no matter the scenario that always ends up being the driver's fault. I also now always slow down, because when I'm driving west the traffic traveling east ALWAYS crosses the center line. ALWAYS. I've yet to have a morning when I'm going to work that someone from opposing traffic has not crossed the DOUBLE YELLOW line. The solution is real quite simple. Slow the hell down! I always honk, which I secretly hope scares the shit out of them and causes them to crash into a tree. Or me. Because then ya know, new car. I've seen cops do it. And now that the horn on my car works they ALL get honked at. Coppers too.
And today, I was coming back to the office from lunch turning right on a green light. And Johnny Left Turn, who was waiting behind another vehicle that sped in front of me, decided if that car could do it so could he. In his big-ass van! I slammed on my brakes, which squealed and yelled. Oh did I yell.
I yell at people who don't use their turn signals. I roll down my window just for that. And it's a manual crank for that window, kids. I yell at pedestrians who cross the street 30 feet from the crosswalk WHEN the cars start approaching or when the crosswalk changes to don't walk.
Because I'm the only person in ALL OF INDIANAPOLIS who knows about traffic laws. I'm looking at you Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department. I know there are other crimes to stop, but a pedestrian losing a leg in a car accident is a pubic safety issue too!